Thursday, September 20, 2018

What the F**k Is Up With While You Were Sleeping?

Is it considered blasphemy to even suggest that Sandra Bullock does wrong? Is it even worse of me that I am about to tear into a movie from 1995? Well, I mean, someone has to do it, might as well be me.

This is one of those rare times where I am about to tear into something that I actually kind of enjoy. But it seriously does have a lot of issues that I can't help but point out. Being something I enjoy does not save you from being put on blast.

Our story begins with Lucy, a lonely token monkey for the Chicago Transit Authority. She pines daily over Peter, a piece of man candy (?) whom she sees every day and secretly is planning to be married to? I mean, whatever, 90s rom-coms have had weirder stuff. Right?

Well, Lucy is forced to work on Christmas because she is the only one in the toll booth who doesn't have any family, so she gets convinced to do it. On Christmas Day Peter tells her "Merry Christmas, yo," and then she brain farts and says nothing. Then, in what is one of the single most "Um, what?!" moments, these teenage kids accost Peter over his coat or something, and then I guess it got physical, because he ended up falling onto the track and falling into a coma.

Time the fuck out. That shorter hoodlum barely touched him and he went flying. He landed on the back of his head but his wound was above his right eyebrow. I mean, maybe that eyebrow (and, Jeezus Christ Peter Gallagher has some fucking caterpillars) He openly admits later in the film that he pretended to pull a hamstring when chasing a mugger. He's clearly a gutless coward, and I'm sure he exaggerated the whole thing. I'm gonna have to say the caterpillar injury was inadvertent, and fell into a coma after trying to be a fucking ham.

So, throughout all of this... Did anyone investigate those 2 hoodlum kids? Lucy goes straight to the hospital with Peter, and gets in because a nurse hears her say she wanted to marry him, thus confusing her as his fiancee, thus forwarding the plot of the movie. But even though there was a cop in the hospital room and he did question her... Did she identify those 2 hoodlums? Seriously, her fucking job is to take tokens and admit people onto the platform. She was the only one working because it was Christmas. I guess I didn't need to SEE this identification happen, but they could have at least acknowledged it.

So. What happened for the business for that platform for the rest of the day? She bailed. And yeah, she probably didn't get a LOT of business, but if I found out that a public transport was open on Christmas day, and it meant I didn't have to take a car to a relative's house, you better fucking believe I'm gonna bank on taking the train (I am a well-documented cheapskate). Did those people have to wait for someone to come and re-open it? This was the age before cell phones were common, so did they even have a complaint line posted? Did the boss Jerry have to come in himself or plead with Celeste to come in on her holiday off? This was just after Lucy was announced as being the employee of the month, is that the reason why she didn't get in trouble or even a quick talking to for bailing from her post?

Yes. I overthink stuff. Is this your first time at this blog?!

If it is, then I apologize. Welcome, I like to drastically overthink stuff. Don't believe me? Here's what I had to say about Stuart Little.

This is far from the worst thing about this entry. Of course, wacky 90s hijinks ensue, like Jack passing out after donating blood, no one acknowledging quite the severity of the fractured relationship between Peter and his family (Saul briefly brings this up, but it's just in passing. "They think they have Peter back."), the fact that Lucy essentially makes his mother handle his testicles to prove he only has one. While he was comatose. This movie is like a fucked up onion. It just gets weirder the more layers you go through.

So all these things happen, and the movie just keeps on going. I don't need to explain the rest of the movie, until the ending. The ending is the most disturbing thing I can imagine. She gets proposed to by Jack, and they get married. She openly says that Peter will ask her when she fell in love with Jack, and it was... While You Were Sleeping.

Does this not disturb anyone as much as it disturbs me? I mean, no marriage. Jack, you don't marry this one. There are all kinds of manipulative red flags masquerading as loneliness. Once this is all done, how is that going to be explained to people that meet them for the first time? "Oh, how did you guys meet?" Now, before I go into this, it's not that big of a deal how people meet. Some of my favorite people don't have the best story. I had another girlfriend when I met my now wife. And they were best friends. Isn't THAT some shit about me you didn't know. But you know what? I can still tell a sweet version of that story that is still 100% true. So I ask again: "Oh, how did you meet?" "Oh well, I was pining for this handsome guy with great caterpillars for an indefinite amount of time and then he got hurt, so I managed to finagle my way into making his family think I was his fiancee, and even played into it after he woke up and let everyone think he had amnesia, then decided to ruin my wedding by admitting my love to Jack. All while we spent the week he was in a coma (Also semi disturbing, he was only in the coma for a week. I'll come back to this for sure) being all flirty and stuff. Then I ruined my potential wedding and then after humiliating both sets of brothers in front of their family, I ran off without saying a word, then Jack brought his whole family to my work and proposed to me. And that kids is the story of How I Met Your Father."

The other disturbing thing about this whole movie, is the time frame. The main plot starts some time before Christmas, as Lucy is pulling her tree into her window up the side of the building (why?) and Jerry trying to convince her to work Christmas. The earliest estimated time for this movie to start could be November 24th, which was Black Friday of 1995 (Please... PLEASE don't ask what kind of research I did for this). We know the conversation has to happen before December, as she was told by Jerry about her employee of the month status, which he uses to try and convince her to work Christmas. He mentions that she had worked Thanksgiving. So there. This conversation takes place in November. So the first 10 minutes or so of the movie happens from earliest November 24th, to latest November 30th, and then jumps to December 25th. Wow, almost a month in 10 minutes. This actually has nothing to do with my point, I'm just super proud of my powers of deduction LOLOLOLOLOL.

But, no matter what, the framing of the movie takes 4 weeks and a few days at it's most extreme, and 3 weeks and a couple of days at it's least. The time after the platform incident? One Week. So, seriously. Peter gets injured on Christmas, and comes to one week later (technically less than) on New Year's Day as the nurses and doctors in the hospital sing Auld Lang Syne when he opens his eyes. In what I can only say is a ball park estimate, after Peter has had a couple days and talks to her once, he re-proposes and they schedule a wedding in the hospital. I know this, because Peter is still in his hospital clothes and an IV. Coma patients take about 2-4 weeks before discharging, so this means everything from the moment he falls off the platform takes 3 weeks at best, 6 weeks at worst.

Did you hear what I just fucking said???? How psychotic is this shit?!!

And then an amount of time happens before Jack proposes. How long was that? The movie doesn't say. Did he let a month go by or 6? Pretty big detail for this movie to all of the sudden become ambiguous about.

This wouldn't work. None of this would work. This is unhealthy. I don't see any long term variation of this where they end up together in the end. The entire relationship is based on lies. Lies and manipulation. I would love to see a mid-2000s sequel with that era of humor mixed in with her tricking another family. It would be direct-to-DVD. This is something I'd watch.

I think that's all for now. I've trashed this movie enough. But seriously, I do enjoy this movie.

No, really. I do.



Monday, September 17, 2018

Pay Per View Review: WWE Hell In A Cell (2018)

We are back with another PPV Review. Yesterday's WWE show was better than it's been in a while... But still not flawless. I still had fun though. Maybe it's just because All In just happened, and WWE knew it had to up the ante a little bit. It still had stuff for me to rage about though.


There was only one match on the pre-show, and oddly enough, I actually caught it. I know I usually only reserve that for the big 4, but considering we were celebrating my Mama Cynth's birthday (Even though it was the day before) It was one of my favorite ways to spend a day. Also, I have a blog entry where we celebrated my wife's birthday, and I STILL haven't posted it. I'm wet human garbage. I'll get to it.

The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Big E w/Xavier Woods) (c) defeated Rusev Day (Rusev and Aiden English w/Lana) to retain the Smackdown Tag Team Championships - I gotta admit, I was super bummed to see this on the pre-show. It had a tournament involving the Bar, and had a good amount of build up, and still only made the pre-show. The only match on the pre-show. As per ushe, there were commercials during the match, and took away from the actual meaning behind it. Bummer. Still a decent match, but nothing compared to it would have been had it made the main card.


1. Randy Orton defeated Jeff Hardy in a Hell in a Cell Match - This feud has been confusing me for a while now. It kinda had to do with the United States Championship (allow me to take this time to say that I find if ridonk that Shinsuke Nakamura wasn't on the card defending the title. Or at all. Lame sauce) but they created a personal feud. And you know what? This shit fucking worked. I love how Jeff finally got his wish of being in a Cell match (I can't imagine most normal people would WANT to be in this) but these two put on an amazing match. I'm seeing a lot of memes of people being okay with blood, but cringing about the screw driver into the earlobe part. Fuck those people. One of my favorite matches is Cactus Jack vs. Triple H at the Royal Rumble. Street Fight. However, I never cringed the way I did when Randy Orton put a screw driver into Jeff Hardy's gauged ear and twisted it to no end. That's fucking terrible. Then Jeff pushed the limits of the cell and swung off the truss and landed on a table into nothing. He lost, of course. This match was the opener, and in my opinion changed the game of what it meant to be inside the cell. The ref tried to end it, but Randy insisted that he count him after the pin. The injury, the heel work, was exactly what you want out of this kind of match. It was perfect.

2. Becky Lynch defeated Charlotte Flair (c) to win the Smackdown Women's Championship - YES!!! Sorry... Trying to be objective. Sorry, can't. I wanted the result at Summerslam. And even when Becky "turned heel" she wasn't an actual heel. They put on the most amazing match, where Becky countered a spear and won. Charlotte wanted to shake her hand, and Becky said no, because WWE thinks Becky is the heel here. She's not. Becky said she won't let this moment get stolen from her. She is the face. Becky is the FACE OF SMACKDOWN. I won't apologize for this. Charlotte is a heel. It is what it is.

3. Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre (c) defeated The Shield (Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose) to retain the Raw Tag Team Championships - This match was the way tag team wrestling should be done. So many hot tags that didn't mean anything. We knew the Shield would win. We knew that. So Ziggler and McIntyre won. It was so incredible, I can't pimp this one out enough. It's what tag team wrestling in WWE should always be.

4. AJ Styles (c) defeated Samoa Joe??? for the WWE Championship??? - First of all.. the OLDEST CHAMPIONSHIP IN THE COMPANY IS STILL A MID CARD MATCH..... Secondly... It ended in controversy. AJ won after flipping the Coquina Clutch into a pin. But he tapped. This fucks everything up. AJ won, because the ref didn't see him obviously tap out. So this feud continues. As much as I love AJ... And I do... It's time for him to pass the belt on. He doesn't have the Okada style strangle hold on the belt. Let's change it up.

5. The Miz and Maryse defeated Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella - In a re-run of Wrestlemania when Nikki Bella and John Cena defeated Miz and Maryse... This time the heels won. Last PPV, Miz used brass knux. Here? Brie couldn't kick out. I'd love to see this be the feud of all feuds, and making Miz and Maryse win will only help the bottom line. We will love to finally, FINALLY watch Daniel Bryan beat the Miz... maybe at Wrestlemania?

6. Ronda Rousey (c) defeated Alexa Bliss to retain the Raw Women's Championship - So... I've made this joke before in private, but I'll make it now, my wife HATES Ronda Rousey in WWE. I feel like my wife just wants to sip the Haterade. Rousey can, CAN do better. But she still puts on entertaining matches. She was dealing with issues with her ribs, so she was in hell. But she eventually tore through Bliss and did her thing. Again, I couldn't imagine this match ending any other way.

7. Roman Reigns (c) and Braun Strowman went to a no contest in a Hell in a Cell match for the WWE Universal Championship with Mick Foley as the Guest Referee:  This match tried to do stuff. Braun was a beast for the majority of it. Then his guys, Ziggler and McIntyre came out. So the Shield responded. It ended up becoming a feud where Ziggler and Rollins crashed through a table. Then Brock Lesnar's music hit, he came out, Heyman dropped a bunch of goddammit bombs, he sprayed Foley in the eyes with mace, and then Lesnar layed out Strowman and Reigns with some F5's. and then a ref came out and declared the match over.


Are you fucking kidding me? It's become a meme (because it doesn't take long for that to happen) but Mick Foley got thrown off the cell, taken out on a gurney, then climbed back up, choke slammed through it again, and had a tooth fly into his nose.

I am not going to say that the new crop is soft. Because we can't expect every wrestler to do some life altering shit like this. But.....

Mankind kept going after being thrown off a cell, and then being chokeslammed off of the top.

That's all the context we need. 2 F5's, and these "Big Dogs" and "Monsters Among Men" fucking bitch out???

Sorry to say that these matches were over. It's so lame... But it is what it is.

So, my match of the night? It's hard to say. I loved the match between Jeff Hardy and Randy Orton. Good for them, they made a spectacle and it was disgusting. Huzzah for them.

But, I can't see another way around it. For me, there's only one match. Match of the Night is Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair for the Smackdown Women's Championship. Good for her. Love it. She made an ordinary match that could have ended in 4 minutes into a match that we never saw coming, and she fucking won. Then, she told her that her winning is more important than Charlotte's ego. This is perfection. This was story telling perfection. And I loved every second of it.

Future PPVs... You have a lot to learn from the 2 women who put on a clinic.



Wednesday, September 12, 2018


Anxiety... The lovely piece of shit that it is, means that something arbitrary means I am up later than I have any right to be. It is currently 4:13 AM while my wife is currently asleep, and I'm watching Tom Segura (my current favorite comedian) on Hot Ones (one of my favorite YouTube shows). So, why am I wide awake at 4:14 AM?

Because while my mind can't shut itself off, I remembered some stupid shit I suggested earlier tonight.

So, I have a Wedding Journal category that you can easily look up on my blog, and since I'm in the first year of our marriage, I oddly documented the first year of our engagement. I've even released some blogs documenting those first few months. Typical me.

One of the things I never wanted to do, for a few reasons, is publicly discuss what I spent on our wedding. Yes, I did go over budget. I will always recommend my buddy Bilbo for help with all this. He will keep your budget on point, but still. I wanted to be a cheap skate, but I still couldn't help it. I will never bring budget, or money consumption into anything I complain about on this blog.

With the exception of what I'm about to post. Because it's fucking hilarious, and my wife is asleep while I post this.

My wife is a full time worker at a well known entertainment company (I never got permission to say the name, so I just won't) and I'm a House Manager at the theater where I work and I work in the office of it. We will never be in the fortune 500, but we make a decent enough living. We can do better, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

We just bought a car from a co-worker of hers. Money is, and isn't an issue with us every week. We don't argue, but we discuss it every week.

Today, I wasted my time.

I transferred her money... Money she needed to make a car payment...

Just so she could give me money to make a payment for something... That was 10 dollars less than what I sent her.

No joke. I transferred her money that she will now have to send back to me. As per our mutual agreement.

Fuck my life. Haha. What a waste of time.



Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Pay Per View Review: All In (2018)

I don't know how to start this one.

No seriously. The very fact that this show happened is, on paper, not something that should have even happened. But it did. An indy show sold over 11,000 tickets in the Sears Centre in Chicago. So let's jump into what was an amazing event.

Unfortunately, I did not watch the Pre-show. Sorry I missed it. I can tell you now that Flip Gordon won the Over Budget Battle Royal. This is important, as the winner will get a shot at the ROH World Championship later in the night.

Oh, and SoCal Uncensored beat the Briscoe Brothers. Neat.


1. Matt Cross defeated MJF - Maxwell Jacob Friedman plays the cocky asshole so well. I had never seen him wrestle before, and I was pretty impressed. Him and Matt Cross had a hell of an opening match, a great way to start the night.

2. Christopher Daniels defeated Stephen Amell - What? Stephen Amell? From the Arrow program?! Yeah. That one. He's wrestled in WWE before. This was his first singles match, as all of his others were tag team matches. I was actually really impressed with how well he did in the ring. But of course, it's All In, and there's no way Daniels was gonna lose this one. Definitely enjoyed this one.

3. Tessa Blanchard defeated Chelsea Green, Madison Rayne, and Britt Baker in a Four Corner Survival Match - These four had a killer match. So many back and forths, and this is definitely how a 4 way match should be done. Although the ending had a bit of a hiccup as the pin looked like it maybe should have been broken up and just didn't, but it was still a damn enjoyable match.

4. Cody Rhodes w/Brandi Rhodes, Diamond Dallas Page, Tommy Dreamer, and Glacier defeated Nick Aldis (c) w/Jeff Jarrett, Shawn Daivari, Samuel Shaw and Tim Storm to win the NWA World Heavyweight Championship - Both sides had a posse come out with them. Haha. My only regret to this card was that I honestly felt like this match should have gone on last. I have no idea how the booking was done, but since Cody was such a big part of this show, maybe he didn't feel like he should have gone on last? Seriously, that is nothing but speculation. But this match was terrific. Between Daivari and DDP getting thrown out of the match, Earl Hebner being the ref of the match, Cody bleeding, Aldis dropping an elbow on Brandi Rhodes, this match was a roller coaster of emotion and story telling. Then the moment when Cody realized he pinned him and won the title his dad always held. I'm not saying I got choked up a bit, but... I definitely got choked up a bit. Super compelling match. In another universe, it did go on last, but for now let's just be happy we got to see it.

5. Hangman Page defeated Joey Janella w/Penelope Ford in a Chicago Street Fight - Alright, I'm gonna be straight with you... I haven't caught any of the Being the Elite YouTube show. As such... I'm just gonna focus on the match itself. It was a brutal match, lot of hardcore action. Penelope Ford got involved and she's a fucking bad ass. There were some intense spots, but nothing was more brutal than watching Page do a Right of Passage off of a ladder through a table. YouTube the move if you haven't seen it. Now imagine that off a ladder, through a table. Fuck, right?! Intense. So... This also led to Joey Ryan coming back, and penis druids on the stage. I'm sorry, did I lose you on that one? Yeah, this one is hard to explain if you don't already know, haha. I got some YouTubing to do.

6. Jay Lethal (c) w/Lanny Poffo defeated Flip Gordon w/Brandi Rhodes to retain the ROH World Championship - We got to see Black Machismo! And he came out with Macho Man's jacket. Super fun. He even put Brandi on his shoulder Miss Elizabeth style. The match was pretty good, but I was happy to see Jay Lethal retain. Then after the match, Bully Ray came down and took both of them out. Then a table came into play. We know where this is going, right? Wrong! Because then Colt Cabana came down, took out Bully Ray, and then Cabana, Lethal, and Gordon hit Bully Ray with a Shield Triple Power Bomb through a table. Score!

7. Kenny Omega defeated Penta El Zero M - I had never seen Penta wrestle before. I was not disappointed. Him and Kenny had a great match (I mean... It's Kenny Omega, haha) and Penta kept hitting his package pile driver, and it wasn't enough to put Omega away. I think it took like 5 or 6 tries, but Omega hit the One Winged Angel and got the win. It was a great match, but then the lights went out. When they came back on, Penta started attacking Omega. But it wasn't Penta, it was... Chris Jericho! They'll be wrestling at the Jericho Cruise (how I wish I could go on that) in an Alpha Club vs. Bullet Club 6 man tag team match. Sounds fun.

8. Kazuchika Okada defeated Marty Scurll - This match was very much built around the fact that Scurll is the much smaller of the two, but he more than held his own against Okada. I can't express how much I enjoyed this match, I actually liked this one more than the previous match. I found myself actually thinking that Scurll could pull off the win, but in the end he hit a Rainmaker and that was the end of it.

9. The Golden Elite (The Young Bucks [Matt and Nick Jackson] and Kota Ibushi) defeated Rey Mysterio, Bandido, and Rey Fenix in a 6 Man Tag Team Match - This was the main event, and it was short. It was kind of rushed. The ending card showed like a minute after the match ended, indicating that they were about to go over the broadcast time. Having said all that, they made this 12 minute match a banger to watch! So much exciting action. It was 12 minutes, and not a single one of those was a dull one. While I do wish this match was maybe a bit longer and told a better story, it was just some damn good wrestling. Rey Mysterio continues to look better than he has in years (and the Wolverine ring gear was fucking rad as well) but watching the Bucks and Ibushi pull off the win was so worth all of it.

Man, watch this show. If you're a wrestling fan, this show is a must-watch. If for nothing else, to see that a 10,000+ arena can be sold out that isn't WWE in 2018. This show is fucking important, and I hope to see more. I have to see more.


I thought about Okada vs. Scurll, but I just can't. Even with the negative from the fact that it didn't go on last, I can't give it to any other match than Cody vs. Aldis for the NWA Championship. Story telling, solid wrestling, and most of all a sense of accomplishment via nostalgia. This match ticked every imaginary box I have when I think of matches that are great, matches that I'll remember for years, tell stories about, and most importantly go back and watch multiple times. There are only a few matches where I'll do that. And this one will join the ranks.

I'm so happy I got to see this one. Please do yourself a favor and find a way to watch this.



Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Pay Per View Review: WWE Summerslam (2018)

This event was LONG. Holy shit.

And, since it's one of the big 4, I unfortunately also had to watch the kick off show.

So, let's get this one going. There's a lot to unpack here, and not just the amount of matches.


1. Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega defeated Rusev and Lana - This was a quick match. Almas had a 5 star match at NXT Takeover earlier this year, and Rusev just challenged for the WWE Championship. So, cool that they opened the pre-show. Whatever. It was a mixed tag match.

2. Cedric Alexander (c) defeated Drew Gulak to retain the Cruiserweight Championship - I can't keep defending the Cruiserweight division. It falls on deaf ears. No matter how good they are, they never seem to leave the pre-show. This was a GOOD match. Maybe a bit predictable, as I never really felt like Gulak was actually going to win, but it was still enjoyable.

3. The B Team (Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel) (c) defeated The Revival (Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder) to retain the Raw Tag Team Championships - Another fluke win for the B Team. Literally. Axel fell and accidentally countered a roll up. This is hilarious. I actually find this entertaining. The B Team won't be a long term solution to the tag team division, but for the time being it's fun, so I'll try to enjoy it.


1. Seth Rollins w/Dean Ambrose defeated Dolph Ziggler (c) w/Drew McIntyre to win the Intercontinental Championship - These two dudes closed the last PPV, so, let's have them open this one. This match was done with people at ringside, and it actually helped with the pacing of the match. I was expecting Ambrose to turn on Rollins, but fortunately that didn't happen. This was a great opener.

2. The New Day defeated The Bludgeon Brothers (c) by disqualification in a match for the Smackdown Tag Team Championships - I like the chemistry they had, and this match had a lot of good back and forth action. Then Rowan brought out the hammer and caused a DQ. I really don't like when PPV matches end in DQs, and ESPECIALLY don't like when Big 4 PPVs end that way. Bummer. Then I find out a couple days later that Rowan had a torn bicep. That sucks. Maybe he couldn't end the match they way they planned. I dunno, I'm not a wrestler and I wasn't fuckin' there.

3. Braun Strowman defeated Kevin Owens in a match for the Money in the Bank Briefcase - I legitimately thought we'd see a massive swerve here and see KO actually claim the briefcase somehow, as Strowman would lose the briefcase no matter how he lost, including DQ and count out. Then he squashed KO in less than 2 minutes. Next.

No. Not next. KO is a former Universal Champion, Intercontinental champion, US champion, NXT champion, and now he's a glorified jobber. Fucking bullshit.

4. Charlotte Flair defeated Becky Lynch and Carmella (c) in a triple threat match to win the Smackdown Women's Championship - I got fucking nothing for this one. The booking makes no sense. Triple threat matches can be chaotic by their nature, but this match is decent in and of itself. But everyone wanted a one on one with Becky Lynch and Carmella. Why did Charlotte need to be included, and not only that, fucking WIN! The only good thing that came out of this is Becky attacked Charlotte after her win, effectively turning heel in the process. Let's see if this spices stuff up a little bit.

5. Samoa Joe defeated AJ Styles (c) by disqualification in a match for the WWE Championship - Where do I start... There are 10 main show matches, and this is on 5th. It's literally the mid card. When did the fucking WWE Championship become the mid card??? SERIOUSLY?! Anyway, this one also ended in a DQ like the other Smackdown titles did earlier. At least it can lead to better things later on with Joe's torment of AJ's family?

I still do not think Big 4 PPVs should END IN DQ!!!!

6. The Miz defeated Daniel Bryan - Really? Really? He cheated to win. But still. The match was okay. Hopefully more will come out of this one. I am almost certain this feud will be booked more long term, which I certainly hope so. Because if this is the start of a long term thing, then it was a good start. If they make this a one off, I'll be super pissed. I guess only time will tell how I actually feel about this one.

7. The Demon Finn Balor defeated Constable Corbin - SURPRISE!!! The Demon out of nowhere. It was a good spectacle. Then he destroyed Corbin in less than 2 minutes. Cool. Let's keep the ball rolling.

8. Shinsuke Nakamura (c) defeated Jeff Hardy to retain the United States Championship - No offense to either of these guys. They're good performers. But the crowd was dead during this match. They were burned out by this point. I went to prepare dinner. I needed a break. These guys put on a decent match, but I just don't envy the spot they were in.

9. Ronda Rousey defeated Alexa Bliss (c) to win the Raw Women's Championship - Now... I don't mind or even dislike Ronda Rousey. She's being booked as the woman who really destroys women. So when she went against Nia Jax, she was able to sell and take abuse on the virtue of Jax's size alone. A woman a full foot taller is believable to an extent. So... A UFC woman who actually fights demolishes the women's champion Alexa Bliss who, need I remind you, has been at the top of the women's division on and off the past 2 years? No other woman could get the jump on Bliss for too long, so then you squashed her. WWE... You've effectively buried your whole women's division. I just don't get you.

10. Roman Reigns defeated Brock Lesnar (c) to win the Universal Championship - Finally. About FUCKING time. I don't care about Reigns, I'm just fucking thrilled the Universal title will actually be on Raw again from now on. Oh and Braun was at ringside the whole match. He didn't actually do anything, but he distracted Brock by getting his ass kicked and his briefcase thrown. In the Chekhov's Gun sense of the match, one could debate if there was any reason for Braun to be there. They could have done this without him being there and still found a way to make it work, as Braun didn't even cash in after the match was over.

This was a bad PPV. A lot of people talked this PPV up, they said it was surprisingly better than expected. But I do not agree. This was solidly a bad one.


Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler set a tone that absolutely no one who came after was prepared to follow. It was a damn good match, and maybe only Bryan and Miz came close. But the IC title match was where it was at.

I'm sorry if you think I'm being too negative, but this is certainly a perfect example of quality > quantity. Takeover was 5 matches. This was 13 total. Which one was better? No contest. I feel I made my points very well and I stand by them.

10 Days. 10 Days.

All In.



Sunday, August 19, 2018

Pay Per View Review: NXT Takeover: Brooklyn IV (2018)

As one could have predicted, Takeover was a fucking madman of a show. So, let's not mess around, let's jump right into this one.

1. The Undisputed Era (Kyle O'Reilly and Roderick Strong) (c) defeated Mustache Mountain (Trent Seven and Tyler Bate) to retain the NXT Tag Team Championships - A massive opener, NXT always gets tag team wrestling right. It's hard to say if this was a better match than the one they had in Royal Albert Hall, where Mustache Mountain first won the Tag Titles, but this match was still fucking unreal. I couldn't believe how many near falls there were on this one. Plus, I'm not sure if I ever emphasize this enough, but Kyle O'Reilly is fucking awesome. Matches like these make me happy to be a wrestling fan.

2. Velveteen Dream defeated EC3 - Hadn't I just said last time, something along the lines of Dream needing to start winning some matches at Takeover, since he usually steals the show but almost always loses? Well he picked up a win, and it was a good thing. The match was a bit slow in the beginning, but it turned out quite well in the end. I also totally dig the fact that Dream's tights read "Call me up, Vince". Hilarious. Although, I feel he could do so much more on NXT than he would on the main roster, because we've seen how much waste happens to great superstars from NXT once they hit the main roster.

In between matches, they showed Matt Riddle in the crowd. Rad!

3. Ricochet defeated Adam Cole (c) to win the NXT North American Championship - This match. My good lord. This is the prime example of what a match should be. These two tore the roof off the place. It had everything I could want in a match, and to see Ricochet finally dethrone Adam Cole (bay bay!) was done so perfectly. Even though I like Adam Cole, the match was money, and so is Ricochet. He's fucking amazing in the ring. Oh, and that spot where Cole superkicked Ricochet when he was mid-flip? Unreal. The timing was something to behold.

4. Kairi Sane defeated Shayna Baszler (c) to win the NXT Women's Championship - I seriously did not see this finish coming. I am happy about it, don't get me wrong, but it totally caught me off guard. These two told such a good story, going back to the first Mae Young Classic, and it saw Kairi Sane catch Baszler off guard, and rolled her up for a quick pin. I love that these two are developing such a good rivalry, and hopefully we'll see this again.

5. Tommaso Ciampa (c) defeated Johnny Gargano in a Last Man Standing Match to retain the NXT Championship - First off... I am a bit bummed that Aleister Black got injured, thus taking him out of what was supposed to be a Triple Threat Match. However, we got this match, so it's not all bad for the fans. Still sucks for Black himself, though... Anyway, this is the third Takeover in a row where Ciampa and Gargano have headlined Takeover, and it was another great match. Each one has added more emotion, more storytelling, more great wrestling, and more brutality. This one, like the last one, saw Gargano thiiiiiiiiis close to pulling off the win, only to have Ciampa just barely get the better of him at the last second. This one even featured the NXT Championship. It was just fucking fantastic, and I hope to see Gargano win the belt in the future. But I'm also okay with this moving forward.


This is too hard to call. So I won't.

Match of the night is a tie between Ricochet vs. Adam Cole, and Tommaso Ciampa vs. Johnny Gargano. I couldn't pick a winner between those two. Not hard to see why. Go watch these immediately if you missed them.

Now, onto Summerslam.



Thursday, August 16, 2018

I Finally Beat Breath of the Wild! (Blurb)

Yes! Huzzah for me. It took me so long for some reason, but I finally did it. I even did all the 120 shrines.

So now that this is done... What now?

I know that Breath of the Wild is something I've been putting off for over a year. So now that I finally have this done... Should I play it again? Now that I know more about it, I can do it even better for a second time.

Or... should I finally rank my Top 10 favorite Zelda games?

Yes. This entry is merely and advertisement for my upcoming blog entry, where I will reveal what I think to be the Top 10. I just really needed to get something published today. Cheap? Maybe. But it's done now.

Can't wait! Even though ranking is gonna take me a minute.

Like. A few minutes.